Along with two friends at work, i’ve been representing a Tibetan guy (few years younger than us) in his bid for political asylum in the USA. As fans of the Beastie Boys and Richard Gere know, Tibet has been occupied by the Chinese since 1959. The Chinese majority (han) have done everything in their power to eradicate the “separateness” of Tibet. Tibetans speak a separate language, practice a separate religion (Tibetan buddhism) and are culturally very different.

The Dalai Lama is the world famous leader and face of the Tibetan people. He fled in 1959 from tibet’s provincial capital (lhasa) to dharamsala, India where he lives with (i think) 50,000 other tibetans, and dharamsala is the seat of the tibetan government in exile. In Tibet proper it is illegal to have pictures of the dalai lama and you can get into all sorts of shiz for dispalying the tibetan flag, pics of the dalai lama and otherwise advocating for a free Tibet. There’s been a lot of unrest lately which began when some monks in dharamsala (without the dalia lama’s blessing) decided to march to the Chinese border – the indian gov’t for the most part tried to shut it down in an effort to thwart any sort of confrontation with China along their shared border. While the dalai lama has advocated non-violence and has gone “hollywood” to reach his goals – Tibetan autonomy (not necessarily tibetan independence) – some of the younger Tibetan monks have recently decided to take a more confrontational and active approach. At the same time as this march to the border, violence erupted in the Tibetan areas under Chinese control – Tibetans started to riot, Chinese stores got vandalized – the Chinese army was mobilized, foreign media was kicked out, and many Tibetans were killed. People worldwide used the Olympic torch relays for the upcoming beijing games as a medium to voice their protest against the Chinese gov’t crackdown and in general express support for the Tibetan cause, leading many world leaders (including gordon brown of the uk and sarkozy of france) to announce their plans to boycott the opening ceremonies – which led to chinese counter-protests and what I’ll call “reflexive uber-nationalism”, and chinese boycotting of french retailer carrefour, and the mess is continuing and will unfold over the next few months….

anywhoooo – back to our case, which has been going on for some 8-9 months, all the while our client has been sitting in a detention center in Jersey. The extremely condensed version of the story is this – our guy put up a poster telling the chinese to get out, calling for tibet independence and the return of the dalia lama – and was caught and arrested and tortured in prison for 15 months. He got out by way of a bribe from his very poor family (like many tibetans they’re farmers) – and when the chinese kept harassing him, he fled and wound up (after a long journey) on a flight landing at jfk, after which a human rights agency got hold of him and referred his case to my firm. again, without getting into too much detail (some of you i’ve told the story to already) – our client’s story is really crazy and intense, and throughout our representation the gov’t and we have noticed some inconsistencies int he story which cast some doubt on his credibility (but ultimately his story was more credible than not, and he’s at the least been very consistent all along). The case was a procedural mess for a multitude of reasons and we’ve had the final merits hearing postponed 4 times, continuances, etc. and this case was resolved today when it was originally scheduled to be resolved last august. Fortuitiously (in an interesting twist of fate I guess you can call it), because of the recent uprisings, the current conditions in Tibet became a central issue in the case, and in general became (in our view) a public relations issue for the govt (ie. the gov’t does not want to be sending politically active tibetans back to china, especially now, when their fate would almost certainly be extremely dire). So – after months and months – this morning – we WON political asylum for our client, which means he can remain in the US, can work, can bring his wife over here, and eventually can become a us citizen. A big day. We brought him to the city this evening, along with our interpreter, where we met up with a “friend” of his who lives in Queens who he can stay with – he’s never met this friend before, but is originally from his home town and arrangements were made for him to help out.

There’s a lot more to this story and many ups and downs – but needless to say its been a powerful day (i forgot to mention that we had some waiting time today after the hearing so we went to the mall and saw the new harold and kumar…) and a crazy and rewarding experience. at the end of his direct examination, our client gave a really nice answer about the u.s. and what this country means to him as a place where you’re free to practice your religion and be free to live your life w/o harassment and oppression. It was cool to be reminded that that way that even though of late our gov’t has been disappointing and at times dishonest, our country is still a pretty amazing place to live and means a lot to so many people.

We’re continuing to work with our client and helping him out going forward – with legal matters but also with personal – and we hope to do some sort of bar fund raiser where people come and chip in some money to help him get settled (details to come, and any suggestions let me know).

And tomorrow – our client’s going with his new buddy to visit “the lady in the water with the crown” – there’s probably no better way for the guy to start his life here in America than that!

I’m not sure if the place is called Shvitz, nicknamed Shvitz, or you just go there to have a Shvitz. The building looks modern from the outside (thanks to a recent remodeling) but once you get inside you’re back in the first half of the 20th century. It actually opened in 1892. Since it is co-ed you can wear their standard issue complimentary shorts and robe or rock your own swim wear. Softly, we all chose to wear our own bottoms.

In the locker room we ran into our friend Frumpkin’s dad who Kras knew. At first I thought this was a coincidence, but I quickly learned that the elder Frumpkin is a regular schvitzer. When Kras mentioned it was our first visit, Mr. Frumpkin generously insisted that we get the “Platza” on his tab. He told Mashaf, the Platza guru, to make it extra hot and hit us extra hard and that he’ll get a bigger tip if we pass out. At this point I had no clue what to expect.

The facility included a Redwood Sauna, a Turkish Sauna room with radiated heat, a steam room, the Russian Room, an ice cold pool, and a Swedish Shower (the human power washer!). After warming up in the saunas we headed to the Russian Room. In this room the oven is filled with 20,000 lbs. of rock which are cooked overnight. During the day, these rocks give off an intense heat. Therefore the room is immersed in a hot, very steamy, stone furnaced “radiant heat”. When the heat starts to get unbearable, you can take one of the dozens of buckets around the room, fill it with ice cold water, and like the Russians hundreds of years before you, dump it over your head.

This in itself would have probably been a satisfying experience but we soon experienced the added intensity of the Platza. Brett went first. He lied down on his belly and proceeded to get vigorously beat with a broom made of fresh oak leaves. The oak leaves supposedly contain a natural astringent, which will open your pours, remove toxins, and actually take off layers of dead skin. Mashaf also covered Brett with olive oil soaps and then drenched him in buckets of hot and cold water. He would lift Brett’s legs and karate chop his back. I had to stop watching. I went upstairs to get a bottle of water and try and prepare myself for what seemed to be similar to water boarding torture. Finally, Brett whisked out of Swedish shower where he was power washed. He then jumped into the ice cold pool and dried down. As I was about to enter the Russian room Brett turns to me and warned “don’t touch the wall…it will burn you”.

My only plan was to survive this torture…and not touch the wall. At times I thought I was going to pass out and at times I wondered why this guy was beating me so damn hard. I had to stop at one point to drink some water and was thinking about cutting it short but knew I could never live with myself or face Mr. Frumpkin if I did that. I made it through, got the power wash, jumped in the ice pool and dried down. After a few minutes I had my bearings and was sitting next to Brett on a bench

All of a sudden, I realized that I’ve never felt better or more relaxed in my life. I’m not sure if the euphoria was because I was no longer being beaten or if Platza is really “Jewish Accupuncture”. It was like I was on 10 vicodin! Brett and I just sat there for a good 15 minutes with grins on our faces. Afterwards we headed up to the roof deck and chilled out for another half hour or so. We ended our afternoon experience with a snack from Anna’s Kitchen. Kras and Brett ordered the Chicken Soup while I munched on potato blini.

I left a true believer. We met one guy the sauna who told us he’s gone there every single day for the last 20 years of his life. I’m not sure that will ever be me but I can definitely hit this place up once a month. P-Diddy, Russell Simmons and Colin Farrell are regulars and perhaps soon da Bwetty and Lhoops will be too!

Here is a very weird, yet accurate, video of Platza I found on YouTube. You can also watch this news segment which is a bit more of an accurate portrayal.

Also, check out Shvitz on Myspace.

I don’t normally write emails about the places I’ve been for work or pleasure, but I probably should, especially for the more exotic locations like this one or Beijing, Singapore etc, but it’s too late on those. This stop in Dubai, albeit for 2 days, is worth writing a little something about; as someone who’s addicted to traveling and fortunately to have a job that allows me to see some great places, I feel obligated to at least shed some light on what its like on the ground here, not just what you read.

The United Arab Emirates is the second Arabic country I’ve ever been to, Morocco being the other, but let me be clear, this is NOT Morocco. Morocco is probably the only true third world country I’ve ever visited and an experience I’d never take back though I could have done w/o the stomach issues and the sickness that ensued thereafter. The UAE is an “emerging market” and then some – it’s modern, expensive and the people tend to be very sophisticated and western educated and VERY wealthy (nice to be sitting on oil). You come to Dubai and you see what wealth derived from the abundance of oil can do to a country that invests back in its own infrastructure. Is surreal to see these huge buildings, incredible hotels and highways that link it all together…in the middle of the desert. I was told that temps reach as high as 130F during summer here, no exaggeration.

Quick observations: The local dress; more so than in Morocco, the woman who are “more” religious are fully covered, they wear sunglasses b/c its eternally sunny here (85 degrees today) so you literally see none of them which is cruel to the heterosexual male tourist; the men wear white robes, for the most part, with the kiffiyeh covering their head. Mostly the red/white checkered kind that you saw Arafat wear (though his was black/white). It was explained to me during lunch yesterday by an ex-pat from NY running a new start up hedge fund out here, that each of the robes and headwear differs based on where you are from: Quatar, Bahrain, Yemen, Oman, Iran, UAE etc. In Morocco, the poverty was evident everywhere you went, people were dressed in scraps in many places in the inner cities I visited, here the woman will be wearing nice fabric and have huge rings on their fingers which I found funny. The men are all well groomed and neatly dressed; quite a difference.

They refer to Israel in the news here as the “Zionist” entity, never using the word “Israel” and Jerusalem is referred to as “Occupied Jerusalem.” Can’t say this is very surprising but something you notice when reading “The Gulf News.”. As a Jew with a very Israeli name I thought I might see some resentment, I haven’t.

My meetings: I’m here for business and yesterday, after a 6.5hr flight and a little delay from Heathrow, I arrived at the airport, was escorted by the Marhaba (or welcome service; marhaba means “welcome” in Arabic) through customs and had a car waiting for me provided by the first fund I was to visit. I had no issues getting through customs, I thought that maybe my Israeli stamps might matter, but I don’t even think they checked. This was good as I didn’t want the headache of going through a Q&A with customs officials. My meetings took place at Emirates Towers and the DIFC which you can view here.

I met with about 7 people there, 5 of which were Arabic, and all very intelligent and obviously hard working and successful. Western educated, perfect English for the most part and a pleasure to sit with. 3 hours go by and the MP takes me to lunch at a Lebanese restaurant where I was the only one not dressed in the outfits I mentioned above. I thought I stood out when I was in China! Interesting experience, great food. Any suggestions I made to the MP was greeted with: “consider it done!”. You don’t get this in the US or UK very often. Second meeting was with a South African and a Brit (not too cultural) and the final meeting, which ended at 7:30pm (mind you I arrived that morning on about 3 hrs sleep on the plane) was with a Brit and a local. All very interesting, I’d ask lots of questions and get very direct answers. As meeting were winding down I’d ask questions about the local economy, growth and other things just as a curious outsider. Nothing like talking to people on the ground and that’s why I’m here for my firm and why my boss was here three weeks ago doing much of the same. There is no substitute being “onsite” as we like to say; a big reason I have traveled so much this year and will continue to do so going forward.

Growth: I’ve never seen so many cranes in one place in my life – 25% of the entire world’s are here in Dubai, that’s not a lie (my facts come from the Big Red Bus Tour I took this morning). It’s unreal to see how this place is building itself up. Skyscrapers that you thought only existed in NY and Hong Kong are popping up here, everywhere. The Burj Dubai Tower will be the tallest building in the world when complete, a European company (not disclosed) just bought the 158th FLOOR and apparently the interest is sky high for more. They are building it so that, should anyone else try to build higher, they will easily be able to build even more floors. 30% of the building has already been sold/rented I believe its now 159 stories and won’t be open in 2009. There are 3,000 workers working 24/7 to get this done at the order of the King. Burj el Arab, the worlds only self-proclaimed 7-star hotel is built on a man made island. I’m sure you’ve seen this before, its so exclusive that you have to pay $150 just to walk in (I took some pics, but didn’t need to enter). They have created other man made islands here, one of which you can see from space; the only other man made thing you can see from space is the Great Wall of China (another place I was fortunate enough to see this year). You get the point, this place is exploding. 80% of the people here are ex-pats; 20% are actually from the UAE. There is such a need for workers that you see a lot of people coming in from neighboring countries, India and many other places. The royal family, in order to try and grow the local population gives people 50,000 dirham ($13,000) to marry local to local, 70,000 dirham per child from local family and payment for education going forward. Those who work here have no income tax, the royal family pays all taxes, that would be nice.

Religion: the work week here, for those who don’t know, is Sunday-Thurs, Friday is the holy day – today. From 1-4pm everything is closed except the hotels; TV’s show the Imam’s (their version of a Rabbi/Priest) at the local mosque on every channel; the only time we see this is in the US is during the State of the Union (or other significant event when the President speaks); this is how it is every Friday here. Pretty interesting to be here on such a day.

Safety: I’ve never once felt in danger here, that was not the case in Morocco as I got into some hairy situations. In fact, the locals have been extremely hospitable and the service is excellent. This morning I get into the elevator and in comes three fully dressed Arabic men in a very tight space. They all smiled, said hello, and wished me well when I got out. They probably didn’t think I was Jewish, but just another of many situations I’ve been in here where I was pleasantly surprised by how the situation went. I’ll be the first one to admit how anti-arab I can be, but that really relates more to the terrorist pieces of sh*t all over the world, their sympathizers and sponsors. Trust me, I’m not booking a trip to Tehran any time soon.

Off to Israel tomorrow and can’t wait; the tour of the Middle East continues. See most of you sooner or later…