YO BRO IT’S ME LITTY

I started getting random BBM messages from my big sister Lisa on Wednesday night. At the time i was too caught up at work to respond. Yet, I knew that whatever she was writing about was probably frivolous but at the same time was definitely hilarious. If you know me, or even if you keep up with this blog, you know that i have an older sister who is way cooler than I am. My uncle says it best (usually during Jewish holidays) when he tells Lisa that she is the one in our family who has the gift of a “personality”. Ask any hockey TV producer, or Pittsburgh Penguin player for that matter, throughout the country, and they will most certainly agree. For all the hubris i have as a blogger/writer i realize i’m nothing more than the love child of Dick Vitale, Kurt Vonnegut and Mark Zuckerberg., That means I’m a dude that nobody can really fully relate too. Meanwhile, my sister’s personality and writing is way more real and genuine. I’m being honest when I say that I’m jealous! I’ve always thought that her major obstacle is that she lacks the confidence to really shine. But then i read the last paragraph of her blog post, and thought that maybe she has the confidence that she doesn’t even realize! If there is one Littyhoops blog post that is worth reading/enjoying, it is this one. Have fun!

More often than not I find myself in situations where I say to myself “I have to blog about this” Thanks to my lack of patience and writing skills this rarely happens…and just like that the moment quickly turns into a memory. However, the events that occurred tonight were so insanely ridiculous I had to share my thoughts…a mix of frustration, laughter and the unknown.

Wine Tasting at the Y

A few months back I enlisted my few remaining single girl friends on a mission. Let’s go to as many social jew events as possible in an attempt to meet single jewish guys to date and eventually marry. Let’s do as much cool shit in the city as possible in an attempt to meet more people. Let’s face it, we are officially done with the 20’s…meeting random guys in bars is just not what is used to be. We are not getting any younger and at this point we have nothing to lose…or do we?

It started a few months back when my friend took me to this big charity event at Chelsea Piers. In a room of 800 Jews people, more than half had the xy chromosome, stable jobs, Ivy League diplomas and healthy trust funds. It was in theory a great place to meet somebody to settle down with, however midway through the night I found myself wanting to pluck my eyes out with the butter knife. Maybe this type of event wasn’t for me. When I drunk-texted my mom to tell her that I’d rather be with the guy who drinks beer and listens to country music she replied “would you rather drive a BMW or a Pick-up Truck?”

Score: Lisa-0, Mom-1

While this event may not have been my cup of tea, it didn’t mean they all had to be like this one. I mean…there had to be other events that me and my peeps could attend that were a bit less…what’s the word I’m looking for…GAY.

The summer came and went faster than you can say “Thirty-something single chick”. As me and my friends sat at the usual brunch spot we decided to start brain storming ideas as to how to find a husband meet new interesting people like we had just done a few short months before. That’s when I suggested we go to a wine tasting event at the 92 Street Y. How bad could it be? A bunch of upper east side yuppies drinking wine and making small talk…the worst that comes out of it I get drunk off of kosher wine and go home alone…not like that hasn’t happened before. Liz and Jen buy into my plan and we decide to give it a shot. We are going to be social if it kills us.

Jen and I met for a drink before. Ya know…that pre-date drink you have to take the edge off. When we arrived at the event, Liz had already been there for a few minutes. The look on her face was priceless when we met her in the lobby. I knew at that point I should have saved the calories on that pre-event drink. It was gonna be a loooooooong night.

Looking back on the event I’m not sure what part of the night was the best part.

a) The weird guy who looked like a pedophile coincidentally telling us he writes children’s books for a living
b) the old guy who smelled like farts and had food on his chin
c) The janitor that kept sneaking in for food when he thought nobody was looking.

It was awful. No amount of wine could have made this event cool. I mean, just to give you an example of how not cool this event was…I ate. They had finger foods and I ate in public. Those of you who know me, now get it. Of the thirty people at the event…four of them were XY, of those none were dating material. You know exactly the type I am taking about. Picture the 40 year old virgin…enough said. I’ll be the first to say “beggers can’t be choosers” but seriously…in this case that just doesn’t apply.

The funny thing is, as we left the event we couldn’t stop laughing…it seemed we were laughing the entire time. It was just three single girls having a silly time making fun of ourselves and our wine-tasting classmates. You see, no matter how many events you go to or how many attempts you and your girlfriends make to meet “the one” nothing is better than just having fun doing it. In an attempt to find our unborn baby daddy, we have become better friends and the experiences we have are memories that are gonna last a hell of a lot longer than my crappy dates. I still think about the boring lawyer I met at the Chelsea Piers event all the time who I am 100 percent sure had a stick shoved up his ass. I am positive we will talk about this night for years to come. Only Jen and Liz will actually get it, but I know you have had those nights too.

As I left Liz at the subway we laughed holding our heads high for trying something new and different. Doing what we actually said we were going to do…meet people in ways other then j-date. We then decided that if our speed dating event that we committed to next week as part of our “Let’s do as much cool shit in the city as possible in an attempt to meet more people” is twice as bad as tonight’s event it’s gonna be a great night!

Hey Courtney, what u got, little sis?