Tuesday, December 15th, 2009...2:14 am
Everybody Loves Ron Ron (At Least I Do)
For your viewing pleasure, click this link to go to the actual blog post so that you can watch all the embedded videos.
You, like most of the sane individuals in our world, might just suspect that Ron Artest is a loon. After all, this is the guy who stormed into the stands to cause the most outrageous brawl, and some of the best reality television, in modern sports history and incited the demise of the metropolis of Detroit.
That brawl happened a few months after Artest asked for a month off to chill during the season since he was tired from producing a hip hop album that summer. Just recently, Ron Ron admitted to drinking Hennessy during halftime when he played with the Chicago Bulls. (If only Charlie Villanueva was his teammate, @CV31 could have tweeted “Ron Ron’s sippin on some cognac. 2nd half is gonna get willdddd!”). Artest has been suspended more times than Zach Morris. In fact, if Artest was Canadian and homosexual he would be the spitting image Sean Avery.
But for me, Ron Artest is my boy.
He might not actually be one of my “boys”, but this term “friend” can certainly liberally defined when you are disillusioned Johnnies fanatic. The fact is I like Ron Ron more than 72% of my Facebook “friends” and that’s what really matters.
I have had the pleasure of a few real life interactions with Ron Ron. The two years he played for the Johnnies were my junior and senior year of high school and I had seats right behind the bench. Besides being an absolute man child on the court (Perhaps he too drinks “Ron Ron” juice) he was also a total goofball. One game Artest was dressed but wasn’t playing. I tapped him on the back and asked him what was up. He said his thumb was sore. I asked him how it happened. He said “Nintendo”. Starring in the role of the confused, ignorant white boy I then said that didn’t make sense. He then explained he had played Bond on Nintendo for 18 straight hours the day before and now his thumb was sore. Fascinating.
More recently, I walked by Artest at the airport. When I realized it was him I said “Wassup Ron Ron” and he replied “Yo Littyhoops”. This story is true besides the part where he says Littyhoops.
The simple fact is that Artest is misunderstood. Foe those who live beyond the rough and gritty 10 mile corridor between Queensbride and Great Neck, it must be hard to imagine what it’s like to cruise down Jamaica BLVD searching for White Castle drive through window while blasting NaS. Did you know that Artest applied for a job at Best Buy when he was on the Bulls so he could get the employee discount and put down Jerry Krause as his reference?
You might remember last year’s hard fought seven game playoff series between the Lakers and the Rockets. Artest was ejected from Game 2 when he confronted Kobe after being elbowed in the throat. Asked if he would retaliate, Artest shared a story from the neighborhood when his friend was stabbed threw the heart with a leg from a table and he was accustom to that kind of stuff. Miraculously, this story seems to be true as here is a New York Times story from 1991 that reports a basketball death. —
Ron seems to have mellowed out some now that he resides on the left coast. A few weeks ago he kibbutzed with Jimmy Kimmel in his boxers. In spite of (or maybe because) all his craziness, Ron gives one heck of an entertaining interview.
But hey, according to Ron Ron that wasn’t even Ron Ron (shades of Locke character in Season 5 finale.
Did you know that Ron’s favorite movie is Titanic. Watch his inspired performance of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”. If you don’t like that rendition, try this one (about 30 seconds into the video).
Ron Artest is even down with the Hasidm and the Chabad House. Arest got out of bed early in the morning to raise 29K for the Yids! —
Ron gives more time to Elie Seckbach than just about any other NBA player and Elie certainly agrees with Littyhoops that Ron Ron is a mensch.
So, if I’ve turned you on to another side of Ron Arest, you should email him yourself and see what he’s all about at firstname.lastname@example.org Or you can hit him up on twitter @BASKETBALL_RON. There’s a good chance he will call you back.
Maybe make some plans with him to meet up late night and eat some hot dos wrapped in bacon!